


Groupchat: Thirsty Thursday

by lacepirate



Series: Detroit: Group Chats [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Crack Fic, Group chat, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, characters are 21+, connor & north hook up but it's okay bc he's still pining for hank, group chat format, i a m s o s o r r y, i have no idea what this is, mention of drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 14:14:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22497412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacepirate/pseuds/lacepirate
Summary: completely inspired by"Sluts unite" group chatbya_perverted_squidConnor: it’s not my fault I have daddy issues and Hank Anderson existsSixty: newsflash dumbass, we’re triplets and we all have daddy issues
Relationships: Captain Allen/CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Implied Hank Anderson/Connor, Implied RK900/Gavin Reed, kinda north/connor
Series: Detroit: Group Chats [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617604
Comments: 9
Kudos: 193





	Groupchat: Thirsty Thursday

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [“Sluts unite” group chat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18681031) by [a_perverted_squid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_perverted_squid/pseuds/a_perverted_squid). 



> k so i loved the ["Sluts unite" group chat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18681031) fic so fucking much because i'm such a hoe for thirsty uni student content i dm'd [@apervertedsquid](https://twitter.com/apervertedsquid) asking if i could post this with creds so here yall are please take this flaming trash heap of horny uni kids

Sixty: connor I can see your boner from the back row of the lecture hall

Connor: shut UP

Nines: there’s like 400 people in here

Sixty: my point exactly

Connor: it’s not my fault I have daddy issues and Hank Anderson exists

Sixty: newsflash dumbass, we’re triplets and we all have daddy issues

North: I heard daddy issues??

Nines: welcome to thursday morning’s lecture

Simon: I’m listening

Sixty: LMAOO

Simon: @markus get in here rn

Markus: simon please

Connor: north I literally heard you snort from up here

[Sixty changed the chat name to Thirsty Thursday]

Nines: since we’re thirsting for our profs

Sixty: oh no

Nines: reed

Markus: what about him

Sixty: nines wants to fuck his crim prof so bad

North: mood

Nines: or be fucked by him

Nines: I don’t have a preference really

North: MOOD

North: we stan big switch energy

Connor: jesus CHRIST

Connor: I’m trying to pay attention

Sixty: connor is just jealous bc he has big bottom energy

Connor: excuse you

Nines: it’s kind of true

Connor: EXCUSE YOU

Markus: connor it’s okay to be a bottom

Connor: yeah but being a bottom and having bottom energy are two very different things

North: markus you are such a baby gay

Markus: well SORRY I didn’t have my bi awakening until I was an adult

Simon: I’m not

Markus: SIMON

Sixty: lizard squad

Sixty: sorry wrong chat

Connor: exfuckingSCUSE ME

North: you think you’re better than us huh

Nines: you gc slut

Sixty: well you got me there

Sixty: I am a slut

Nines: if you’re going to try and roast me for wanting to fuck reed, I get to roast you for wanting to fuck allen

Markus: WAIT WHAT

Connor: yeah

North: his crim physical fitness prof????

Nines: yup

Markus: why does everyone want to fuck their profs I feel left out

Sixty: it’s because we all have daddy issues markus, keep up we’ve already been over this

North: yeah markus you dumbass

Simon: north shut up

Sixty: LOOK IT’S NOT MY FAULT OKAY THIS DUDE IS FUCKING RIPPED AS HELL

Sixty: AND WE DO FUCKING BOOT CAMP WITH HIM OKAY

Sixty: SO HE’S LITERALLY ORDERING US AROUND THE WHOLE ASS TIME

Sixty: AND WE GET DISCIPLINED

Sixty: IT’S ONLY NATURAL, HE’S A DADDY DOM AF

Simon: it’s really not but go off I guess

North: not all of us have good father figures simon

Markus: simon baby it’s okay that you’re mostly vanilla

Sixty: it honestly is but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to tease him for it

North: tru

Connor: I swear to god do any of you even want to pass this class

Connor: im gon

Sixty: AND I OOP

Sixty: DID ANDERSON JUST CALL YOU OUT FOR BEING ON YOUR PHONE

Nines: I think I’m gonna pee myself

Markus: please don’t

Nines: it’s his own fault he sits in the front row

Sixty: because he wants to get a close look

Sixty: he needs to assess how big his dick is to prep his virgin ass

Connor: I am literally going to kill you

Connor: I know where you sleep and I know how not to leave a trace

Nines: good luck getting past Amanda

Connor: nines shut up

Connor: I’m gonna tell Amanda where your acid and weed are

Nines: oh shit

Sixty: you wouldn’t

Connor: do you really want to try me

Markus: ….

North: I am strangely aroused

Simon: noRTH

North: what

Connor: thank you north I’m flattered

North: can I slide in ur dms

Connor: please do

Sixty: wait

Sixty: what the fuck just happened

Nines: I’m honestly so confused too

Simon: guys please markus is choking

Simon: and not the good kind either

Connor: it’s thirsty Thursday

Nines: I don’t know whether to vomit or cry myself to sleep tonight

-

Sixty: so remember how I said I wanted to fuck my prof

Nines: allen

Sixty: yes

North: what happened

Sixty: so I went to that bar the other night after finishing all the shit I had to do

Sixty: I got a little more buzzed than anticipated

Nines: oh god

Sixty: and allen was there

Sixty: like just chillin in a booth by himself on his phone

Sixty: and you know I’m a horny drunk

North: you’re just horny period

Sixty: tru

Sixty: ANYWAY

Sixty: I went up to talk to him

Sixty: and I accidentally asked him if I could suck his dick

Nines: how do you accidentally ask that

Sixty: shut UP

Sixty: and guess what he fucking said

North: please

Sixty: “ask me again when you’re sober”

Sixty: AND THEN

Sixty: THIS SMOOTH MOTHERFUCKER

Sixty: JUST FUCKING SHOOTS THE REST OF HIS DRINK, LEAVES MONEY ON THE TABLE AND FUCKING WINKS AT ME AND THEN LEAVES

Sixty: I literally fucking came in my pants

Sixty: im not even joking I had a hands free orgasm

Connor: one day

Connor: just one day I ask that I don’t have to question why I’m alive

Nines: that’s why you were doing laundry at midnight??

Sixty: yes I was wearing my last clean pair of underwear

Sixty: wait what the fuck where was connor??

Sixty: he wasn’t home when I got home

Markus: uhhhhhhhhhh

Simon: markus shut up

Sixty: WAITWAITWAIT

Sixty: @connor YOU GET YOUR FUCKING ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW

Connor: you beckoned

Nines: he’s right where the fuck were you the other night you never go out

Connor: I went out

Sixty: WHERE

North: I’m not sure why you think he’s a virgin @sixty

Sixty: B

Sixty: I

Sixty: T

Sixty: C

Sixty: H

Nines: Im

Markus: see @simon I didn’t even say anything

Simon: you’re so lucky I’m not there right now or I would literally smack you

North: aw look my baby is growing up and getting kinky

Nines: speaking of kinky

Connor: nines I beg of you

Sixty: CONNOR

Connor: ye

Sixty: BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

Sixty: @north please tell me you pegged him

North: sorry I don’t kiss and tell

Nines: that’s a fucking lie

Sixty: PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW IF MY BABY BROTHER IS STILL AN ASS VIRGIN

Connor: I’m literally the oldest

Nines: by like 3 minutes

North: he’s not but in his defense I’m not either

Markus: ..

Simon: …

Nines: amifneo

Sixty: i

Markus: good job north you fucking broke them

Connor: dear god help me they’re at my bedroom door

Connor: THEY WON’T SHUT UP

Connor: THEY’RE GONNA FUCKING BREAK THE DOOR

-

Connor: I had to buy them taco bell to get them to shut up

Sixty: I’m still confused

Nines: about what

Sixty: I though you had a crush on Anderson

Connor: yeah

Sixty: ??

Connor: you of all people should know that hookups don’t require a romantic interest

North: excuse you I excel at no romance

North: aro squad

Sixty: okay you got me there

Sixty: one more thing tho

Connor: what

Sixty: were you a virgin before that

Connor: …

Sixty: CONNOR YOU DOWN LOW SLUT I’M SO PROUD

Nines: sixty stop screaming you’re gonna wake Amanda up again

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr pls come yell at me](https://ghostddy.tumblr.com)
> 
> lemme know if you want more of this type of stuff bc i have so much fun making this


End file.
